How to assess decline from afar:
signs that your aging parent needs more support
By Susan Chaityn Lebovits
Caring for an aging parent from a distance can be challenging. This requires observation and structured communication to ensure that any decline is caught early and an action plan is put into place. A quick check in while driving to work or running errands is a nice gesture, but it does not allow for observations that are critical to employ intervention. Here are tips on what to look for so your loved one can remain as independent as possible, and when it’s time to step in with more support.
Speech changes: If your parent seems to be speaking at a slower rate than usual, has longer pauses, or shows difficulties retrieving common words, this may indicate cognitive decline. One NIA‑funded study linked such speech shifts to Alzheimer’s biomarkers. Check in with your parent’s primary care physician for additional testing. If you do not already have medical power of attorney, now would be a good time to get that into place.
Emotional tone: Flat affect, lack of facial expression or increased self‑neglect during conversations can signal depression or loneliness.
Medications: Has your parent been taking their medications? Who is preparing their daily /weekly medication containers? Have them show you their pill boxes via Facetime or the AmazonEcho to ensure that no days have been missed. Would “pill packs” or a timed pill dispenser be helpful to reduce stress, especially if there is growing concern of memory challenges?
Meal prep and cooking: Is your parent responsible for their own food shopping and cooking? Could they use support? Ask what they ate for their last meal. Is it difficult for them to remember? Is the shopping, cooking and cleaning beginning to feel overwhelming?
There are many support services available such as shared family calendar apps to help.
Hygiene: Has their appearance changed? Do they no longer show pride in how they present themselves? Does their hair appear brushed? Do they often seem to be wearing the same clothing? If so, could it be due to a stiff shoulder or other ailment? Adaptive clothing could help with dressing independence.
Energy and mood: Questions such as “How did you sleep last night?” or “What did you enjoy today?” can reveal fatigue, depression, or loss of interest.
Social isolation and loneliness: Does your parent have a social circle – people they connect with on a regular basis to play cards, discuss current events, a book group, knitting circle?
Social isolation and loneliness are two large contributors to cognitive decline.
Technology tangles: Does your parent now have difficulty with bill paying, video calls, texts, or computer work that they were previously proficient navigating?
Remote monitoring tools Wearables and passive in-home sensors (motion, energy use) can track behavior patterns in a non‑intrusive manner, providing comfort for the entire family.
A study using electricity‑meter sensors found anomalies in daily routines corresponded with well‑being shifts. Trials of remote monitoring platforms such as fall sensors, medication alerts, ring cameras and remote door locks have helped elders remain safely at home.
When to loop in a professional:
If you notice persistent speech changes, mood shifts, or self-neglect, contact a geriatrician or neurologist. Telemedicine for dementia care is well-supported. A Geriatric Care Manager can help coordinate doctor appointments, medication updates, insurance as well as well-checks.
By combining attentive conversations with smart technology—and trusting professional care when changes emerge—you can help your aging parent maintain independence—even from afar. Have further questions? Book a free 30-minute Clarity Call to discuss your personal needs.